Sometimes I rant on Facebook

Like today:

I don’t think subjects and verbs should agree all of the time. I mean, what if they’ve grown apart? What maybe verb doesn’t always want to go along with what subject says because it’s always about subject, subject is all, like, totally “It’s all about me”, which is interesting because “me” is an object. It can’t even talk about itself because “itself” is reflective (unlike the ever selfish subject).
Since verb does all of the action, maybe verb should come first and subject can just bloody well agree with it. Maybe you need to think about your desperate need to have everything ok in front of the neighbours. Yeah. Didn’t think about that, did you?

I may be dealing with HTML/CSS, JavaScript (React to Node), and (no)SQL languages, but I first majored in German, and I have never lost my interest in spoken languages. It’s also why I kind of roll my eyes a bit when people (including me) call them programming languages. Spoken languages are much more forgiving. Hell, I know a lot of JS programmers who write or say “… between him and I”. I IS NOMINATIVE! Use “me”, and object, because the preposition takes objects. Quit thinking that “me” is impolite. If this were code, you’d get an error. Shut down. Borked. I’ve seen code documentation written by someone who fears the semi-colon. Oh, the irony. Spoken language is forgiving. Or should be. Let’s not talk about Americans telling people to speak English while butchering the grammar or spelling.

I think programming is less a language than it is a grammar. Imagine writing consoule.log in one region and console.log in another. I know if someone is midwestern, a Texan, or from the Pacific northwest by how they refer to carbonated sugar beverages.

I like to think that somewhere someone would write “council.log” and in a pull request on GitHub, another would write only *console like people do when they see a their/they’re/there error.

I get it. People like to label things. What do we call Java, Ruby, C++, JavaScript, Go, etc? Languages was easy and makes sense, but was clearly chosen by someone who didn’t major in languages. They’re grammars. I guess that would have felt old and stilted. Maybe we should just give them another name: Stanleys.

Make it so.

 

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