Physically, I am an only child. Mentally, my parents got triplets: ADHD, anxiety, and depression. 

Oh, an array! 

Although I am a contemporary American, I do not go to the pharm for help much. I suffer through headaches until it’s unbearable. I deal with my tennis elbow by bitching about it and not taking anti-inflams. I do not have a medicine cabinet for myself (my pets however …). I made a deal with my faculties: for one i—WAIT! I smell a for-loop:

Let’s see if it worked. 

Of course, it worked. As if I’d bore you with the screenshots of my little angry red notes. It eventually worked, but the road to hell is paved by adverbs; therefore, IT WORKED! “Eventually” omitted. (I should put the first two in a sentence, but then that would be getting into obsessing.)

Symptoms of adults (anyone?) with ADHD are as follows (thank you, Mayo Clinic):

Trouble focusing or concentrating
Restlessness
Impulsivity
Difficulty completing tasks
Disorganization
Low frustration tolerance
Frequent mood swings
Hot temper
Trouble coping with stress
Unstable relationships (with humans. I’m awesome with pets!)

I eventually get there, but in every endeavour, I struggle to find out how I can be the best Katy I can be. The start is always hard. Organising my thoughts, not allowing myself to become my own worst bully, and not spitting the dummy and saying that I’m too dumb for this when I can’t get something in what I think is the appropriate amount of time.

I won’t take ADHD meds; I’d rather figure this out. I won’t take anti-anxiety meds; I rather just not deal. But I will take vitamin Z so that I get out of bed to deal with the first two and the rest of life’s arrows slung at me. And when I need it, I am learning to ask for help. 

At least now when I’m distracted when my coding homework gives me the shits, I play with code outside of my homework. Yes, it is off topic, but it is better than online shopping or a ride to a bakery.

Tools I’m using to help:

• Vitamin Z (Sertraline)
• Code for me
• Apps for staying on task and organised

Things people tell me not to do, but I ignore:

• Getting off caffeine. 

Being off caffeine doesn’t keep me more focused. It just makes my jumps slower. If I jump away slower, then I jump back slower. Rather ping than lurch.

Whew. That shit is off my chest. Time to bitch slap my coding demons. Or at least sass them with arms akimbo.